I was sitting out in the fourier with Porter again a few Sundays ago during our Sacrament meeting. Maybe it's because he's our fourth, maybe it's because we're lazier, or maybe it's because we're smarter - for whatever the reason, we're just not as uptight about "making" him be reverent in church at such a young age for the first hour. It really takes the stress out of our Sabbath day, and at least one of us gets to listen to the talks and be uplifted. We've become believers of the "it's probably a little unrealistic to expect a 2 year old to be reverent for an hour" school of thinking. At any rate, I found myself with Porter out on the couch drawing with him and just talking about "life".
For whatever reason, "Porter Pants" (as we call him) started showing me his shoes. He was really excited about them. As he showed me his shoes, I had an impression about his shoes - and my shoes. I started to think about how small they were next to mine. I started to think of how much more experience I have filled my shoes with and how because his shoes were so small, he had not nearly the "experience" in his young life to fill his shoes with. With less experience, comes less knowledge and understanding in some way. I didn't have Isaac or Makayla out in the hall with me because their experience has already taught them what is and isn't an appropriate way to behave in church. They have certainly learned by trial and error, but they have learned nonetheless; their experiences have filled their shoes already. I was just really impressed with the symbolism and then the wonder of how my shoes measure up to God's shoes in this way. The longer I am a Father of my own children, the more of an insight my Heavenly Father grants of His love for me - one of His children. And I have to say that I have learned that there is no limit to this love.
My shoes (my understanding and experience) must look even more lopsided next to God's than mine and Porter's do. I'm trying to do my best to become who God would have me to become, but how many times is He patient with me, "taking me out to the fourier" and allowing me to grow into my shoes? I sometimes get embarrassed when I think of these moments; the times when I should know to His will, but resist. It is my job and purpose to teach and help Porter as he grows both temporally and spiritually to understand how he can become who not only I, his earthly father, but also who his Heavenly Father would have him become. What experiences does he need to fill his shoes with so that he can successfully navigate this life? How am I using my shoes to bless him? What tracks are they leaving so that as he follows in them, he will have the opportunity to fill the measure of his creation? Are my shoes worn down because we served others? Are they dirty because we played outside enough? Do I have enough different pairs? Has he seen my church shoes being worn as needed? Have I taught him the value of work because my work boots are worn through?
For now, his Mom and I are providing all of the shoes that he needs. We're trying to do our best to make sure his feet get to where they are supposed to go. And in the right shoes. In the end, it's our purpose to help Porter know how to find the right shoes on his own. Hopefully by following our tracks, his shoes will wear a path that is similar to the path that the Savior took. Hopefully this is also similar to the path that he has seen me take. I hope his shoes get dirty from playing outside. I hope the heels on his church shoes get worn down on the side that his walk favors. I hope his work shoes get worn out from finding a passion in life that will provide for his family. I hope the same heel on his work shoes as the one with his church shoes gets worn down from him helping with eagle projects, people moving in and out of his ward, and however else he can show his family that he is "bearing another's burden to make it light".
So Porter,
for what's it's worth, my promise to you is that my tracks will lead you where I feel will bring you the greatest opportunity for happiness in your life. I'll do my best to make sure to love and guide you, just as our Heavenly Father has with me, as you grow into the different shoes of your life. Your tracks may wonder off the path from time to time. Mine did too. My hope is that while you are on the path with me though that you learned what you needed so that you can always find your way back - by following my tracks. In your shoes. Following my shoes.
I was sitting out in the fourier with Porter again a few Sundays ago during our Sacrament meeting. Maybe it's because he's our fourth, maybe it's because we're lazier, or maybe it's because we're smarter - for whatever the reason, we're just not as uptight about "making" him be reverent in church at such a young age for the first hour. It really takes the stress out of our Sabbath day, and at least one of us gets to listen to the talks and be uplifted. We've become believers of the "it's probably a little unrealistic to expect a 2 year old to be reverent for an hour" school of thinking. At any rate, I found myself with Porter out on the couch drawing with him and just talking about "life".
For whatever reason, "Porter Pants" (as we call him) started showing me his shoes. He was really excited about them. As he showed me his shoes, I had an impression about his shoes - and my shoes. I started to think about how small they were next to mine. I started to think of how much more experience I have filled my shoes with and how because his shoes were so small, he had not nearly the "experience" in his young life to fill his shoes with. With less experience, comes less knowledge and understanding in some way. I didn't have Isaac or Makayla out in the hall with me because their experience has already taught them what is and isn't an appropriate way to behave in church. They have certainly learned by trial and error, but they have learned nonetheless; their experiences have filled their shoes already. I was just really impressed with the symbolism and then the wonder of how my shoes measure up to God's shoes in this way. The longer I am a Father of my own children, the more of an insight my Heavenly Father grants of His love for me - one of His children. And I have to say that I have learned that there is no limit to this love.
My shoes (my understanding and experience) must look even more lopsided next to God's than mine and Porter's do. I'm trying to do my best to become who God would have me to become, but how many times is He patient with me, "taking me out to the fourier" and allowing me to grow into my shoes? I sometimes get embarrassed when I think of these moments; the times when I should know to His will, but resist. It is my job and purpose to teach and help Porter as he grows both temporally and spiritually to understand how he can become who not only I, his earthly father, but also who his Heavenly Father would have him become. What experiences does he need to fill his shoes with so that he can successfully navigate this life? How am I using my shoes to bless him? What tracks are they leaving so that as he follows in them, he will have the opportunity to fill the measure of his creation? Are my shoes worn down because we served others? Are they dirty because we played outside enough? Do I have enough different pairs? Has he seen my church shoes being worn as needed? Have I taught him the value of work because my work boots are worn through?
